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Life Among the Slimes
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If you came here from the Slime Personality Test, welcome! You can look up your personality type below, or use the links above to view more slime research.

We continue with the eight types of slime personality. Recall that slimes can be categorized on three dimensions:

fierce / cuddly
introverted / extraverted
sharp / blobby

FIS (fierce introverted sharp)
The Sidekick
Attributes: perceptive, devoted, self-sacrificing
Sidekicks are fierce slimes who love adventure, but lack the desire to take on the world on their own. Sidekick slimes form smaller numbers of more intense attachments than warrior slimes, and devote themselves strongly to those they admire. In some versions of the Epic of Gilgamesh, Enkidu was actually a slime. These stories obviously minimize Enkidu's physical prowess, but he helps Gilgamesh in other ways: encouraging him when he is frightened, using his chthonic wisdom to guide him safely on the journey to the cedar forest, and comforting him on the way by serving as a musician, lookout, hunting dog, pillow, hot water bottle, stress ball, and, on one particularly unpleasant occasion, a spare bowstring.

Long before daybreak, brave sidekick slimes prepare the field for their heroes.

CIS (cuddly introverted sharp)
The Lover
Attributes: subtle, refined, optimistic
Many years ago, I traveled to Hamburg to undertake postgraduate studies at Das Institut Blobenschrift. In the library, I ran into a tiny red slime valiantly attempting to push a book off the shelf. I helped her retrieve it[16], and on the way to the reading room we discussed our ideas. She spent the rest of the evening perched on my shoulder, listening raptly to my ideas about the influence of slime folk poetry on the cognitive revolution in scientific psychology. The next morning, I was awakened quite early by a raucous slime chorale outside my door. My new friend Kaplipple had spent the night assembling a list of songs that related precisely to my hypothesis, and had become so excited that she pulled together an ad-hoc performance group!

Over the next two years Kaplipple played a great role in my professional and intellectual development. She had an amazing knack for listening to an idea and thinking carefully about it (sometimes spending several days riding in my shirt pocket), offering observations that helped my own thinking unfold. We continue to correspond, and to this day she seems to know where my ideas are going before I do myself.

Slimes like Kaplipple are termed lovers. Unlike helpers (type CID), lover slimes pick a particular person, cause, or topic and devote themselves to learning about it in extraordinary depth. A lover slime may be a lifelong friend, a fan, a connoisseur, or an advocate, and the object of their love may be temporary or permanent, profound or very silly.

[16] For those readers who may someday wish to help out a slime, the proper protocol is to begin by saying "hi!" and holding up your hands, palms out, while wiggling your fingers. This is the ASL gesture for applause, which originated as a representation of slimes bouncing up and down with excitement. It constitutes an invitation for the slime to treat you as a fellow slime. If the slime does not desire help, they will respond "hi!" and continue to struggle, possibly narrating their exciting adventure. If they do desire help, they will lean up against your hand (a gesture representing two slimes merging their bodies) and say "together?" This indicates that your assistance would be cheerfully appreciated.

FIB (fierce introverted blobby)
The Idealist
Attributes: confident, strong-willed, ethical
Idealist slimes are difficult to rouse to action and equally difficult to stop. They are the slimes who believe in a cause and will defend it tirelessly. One famous idealist is Plopop, a cureslime who spends fifteen hours a day standing on an island in Fleming Road, in Hong Kong's Central Business District, holding up a sign that says "HUG EACH OTHER MORE." He has been doing so for the past fifteen years. Though some city dwellers mock Plopop and others embrace him as a local eccentric, The Economist famously cited him as a contributor to the territory's high ranking on international quality of life indices. A famous historical idealist is Florpopoles, the slime who was honored by ancient Sparta for finally convincing his fellow slimes that the Spartans didn't want hugs.

Florpopoles attempts to teach his fellow slimes about the warrior spirit.

CES (cuddly extraverted sharp)
The Advisor
Attributes: thoughtful, voluble, social
Famous Slime: Blortrand the Peripatetic

Elise asked the angel, "are there slimes in heaven?"
"Yes, child," the angel replied, "for just as the souls of the just and merciful are drawn towards the Lord, so are all the good things of the earth."

From the apocryphal gospel of Benjamin, 4:21

"I've never been so interested in heaven. But I know for sure about hell. If there are people stuck in hell, then you can bet that slimes are gonna find a way in, mystical sucking powers be damned."
From Dialogs with Blortrand, Collection #3

Grizzled, tough-minded, and irreverent, Blortrand was temperamentally the opposite of what people expect from a slime. Yet his actions were always principled, guided first by curiosity and second by his desire to help. Blortrand and his companions traveled the world, meeting people, talking, and observing, and ultimately bringing their unique perspective to everything they encountered. Advisor slimes like Blortrand relate to the world by identifying problems and engaging with them. Wrangling with a problem is itself enjoyable for an advisor slime, such that even the most impenetrable challenges rarely sap their slimeful good cheer.

Blortrand and friends


Humans often give lip service to the idea of diversity, but it is the lifeblood of a slime community. Slimes are impulsive enough that they count on the conflicting impulses of different dispositions to regulate their behavior. It is a combination of sharp- and blobby-mindedness that allows slimes to be attentive to exciting new things, and yet proceed with tenacious optimism. It is a combination of introversion and extraversion that allows them to form strong ties within a community, and yet feel a sense of kinship with all other beings.

The eight slime personality types are a recent concept, but there are intriguing correspondences in ancient lore. In The Squire's Tale, Chaucer wrote:
He was a manne of witte sublime,
for each purposse, he knewe a slime,
and knewe that when his taske wath grete,
ye needs not one slime, but all eighte.
Edward Harper's compendium of the oral tales of Danish slimes include a number of stories about Rolf Redears, a popular folk hero. Redears was a king slime whose eight constituent slimes are carefully described in terms that modern personality psychologists have no difficulty recognizing as a warrior, a master, a sidekick, an idealist, a lover, a voice, an advisor, and a supporter. Because Redears was a king slime, he appears in many comic stories such as "Rolf eats the magic beans" and "Rolf Redears falls out of the tree." In more serious stories he is portrayed as a trickster figure, whose foolish actions nonetheless display important slime virtues and end up saving his community from predators, natural disasters, or internal conflict. Rolf Redears was revived as a popular figure by the Slime Pride movement of the 1960s, for whom he symbolized the idea that slimes could survive in an increasingly industrialized world without changing their simple good nature. The movement received a boost in 1967, when without explanation Redears himself appeared in the middle of a rally. History slimes made an effort to find out where he'd been for the past 1,000 years, but the only answer he offered was "hangin' out."

To see more slime personality types, go here.

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( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Apr. 3rd, 2007 06:14 pm (UTC)
Yay! I love these slime articles. ^_^ Go slimies!
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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